From Stephanie’s Journal 2001 (A journaled note to a friend)

Description of Our Friends as they are to me

I will try to write to you of Our Friends.  I want you to know them as I know them.  I wish you could experience them as I do.  I cannot do justice to them, or my relationship with them, in words.  But I hope I can make you understand what they are to me.

Our Friends are my friend, teacher, guide, mentor, muse, support, source of nourishment and unconditional love.  Not a group, not an individual, not a personality.  I refer to them in plural, because they are definitely not an “I” as you and I experience “I.” 

When I imagine Our Friends, I see something like a cluster of soap bubbles, or –even more exact — a dance of lights…beautiful colors weaving in and through one another, like the air above a fire, yet moving as a whole, one unit with uniqueness within, just like a flame. 

When they speak to me, it is one voice I hear.  Always the same voice.  A beloved’s voice.  It is not my voice.  I hear in my head neither the voice of my own thoughts, nor the voice other’s hear when Our Friends are channeling through me.  Hearing is supposed to be about vibrations hitting the eardrum and being translated by the brain.  Yet we hear in our heads as we hear with our ears, so there is more to hearing than sound vibrations. 

What I recognize when I hear Our Friends in my thoughts is their energy, the feel of them, their love, their presence, just as a tiny child senses the return of its parent to the house, though the child sleeps soundly in its room.  We feel those we love on levels far beyond our physical senses.  Those we trust, we sense most truly.  I trust Our Friends.  I know absolutely that I am loved.  I know this because I have experienced nothing else from them, nor have I felt anything but love from them toward those who come to talk with them. 

While I have judgments, opinions, points of view, — and I have channeled for people I do not like, people I do not trust — when Our Friends come in, the perception is very different.  They see human beauty where I see human faults.  The same realities of character that I may judge as wrong, they see in context of the whole person in their essence and purpose among the Whole of us. 

I put “Whole” in capitals deliberately.  The Whole of us is the Whole of humanity, the Whole of Creation, Whole of G-d.  

The primary thing I’ve learned from Our Friends is that we are each and all inextricably in and with G-d.  There is no separating us out.  We are those dancing webs of light, interweaving as we move endlessly…and fundamentally joyfully (the second biggest thing I’ve learned from Our Friends)…through Creation.  We are the Creation and contain the Creator’s spark within us.  The Created within the Creator constantly creating Her self, His self, Its’ self … there is no adequate word.

There’s the rub.  We are the very stuff and substance of G-d.  The life force that is us, the breath that enlivens us, is G-d itself. 

What an irony to be the very creation of the Creator…to be the sunbeam of the Sun, yet not to be able to encompass, to fathom, to comprehend that Sun within our little beam. 

Thus is the path of devotion needed, created, explained, understood.  I don’t know why, but we seem to come closer to being the essence G-d created us to be when we offer devotion to the Greater Light that created us.  When we acknowledge our smallness we become bigger.  It is a conundrum, yet it is true.

© 2010  Stephanie K. Nead

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