I would describe myself as “The girl next door…who channels.” I do not wear long flowing robes…more of a jeans and tee shirt person. I don’t even like incense. I like crystals, but my house is not full of them. I am not “woo-woo.” Yet I channel.
I am mystically inclined and definitely metaphysical in thought and interest. This experience of an inner teacher has been both perfectly ordinary and a complete shock to me.
I have, from my earliest recollection, had a clear and powerful intuition. It has saved my life more than once. I have had many mystical experiences, which over time, I will relate here. Still, I was not at all prepared, when 22 years ago, during meditation, I found myself hearing a very clear voice I knew was not my own. In sharing my experience with friends, actually “channeling” this presence, I was told — in completely separate instances — the same thing: “Stephanie, you’re good, but you’re nowhere near this good! This is definitely not you.”
I have learned to trust this Presence people have named “Our Friends.” I trust “them” because in 20 years they have never been anything but loving, compassionate, accepting, and infinitely patient…with me and with everyone who has chosen to work with them.
This gift has brought me many specific gifts, including dear human friends and the nourishment of rich creative expression, even in the face of my ambiguity about being “a channel.” I have my own daily communion,which I sometimes chronicle here under “Stephanie’s communion.” When I do sessions for others, I have many experiences, see many things, but I retain no memory of your specifics.
When I first realized I was beginning to channel, my biggest concern was that my thoughts, attitudes, opinions, or judgments would interfere with the clarity of the information coming through. I stipulated four things that the energy (Our Friends) had to guarantee me before I would agree to continue:
- They would be the highest energy I was capable of sharing.
- They had to channel through my heart.
- They had to make sure I was completely out the way so that none of my shmutz could influence or interfere with the message.
- They had to promise to take care of my body.
To my surprise, they instantly and cheerfully agreed, and they have been true to each of these stipulations ever since.
…keep checking back to learn more about my relationship with Our Friends…there is much to tell…
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Our Friends: Sacred Counsel 
It’s all very lovely. But it reminds me of the time, 30 years or more ago, when I thought Jesus was speaking to me. Everywhere I went, I heard this voice responding to me in my head and really believed it was him. Then one day I was walking down the street and I caught my reflection in the window, talking with Jesus. And that’s when it hit me. I was talking to myself! I had a dissociated part of me that had absorbed all kinds of information from my desire to know the truth and believe in something over the years, and then part of me I identified with as ‘me.’ When I let go of the construct that it wasn’t me I was talking with, I integrated that part of myself. I think something like this is going on with you, and that you’d do well to move beyond the dissociation and start accepting that your mind is quite clever and came up with this construct to comfort you in this crazy world. There’s not a thing that ‘our friends’ have said that you couldn’t have said, though the part of you that you identify as you may have barriers to saying anything so directly. I think channeling is just silly, as is believing in any kind of supernatural construct or investing in any kind of God worship/hero worship/heirarchical relationship to the universe that puts you in the lower position or frames you as needing help in order to navigate in your life.
Hi Mick, You have a lot to say here. And I can “hear” that you have some strong opinions. Where to begin?
I think any time someone has the belief that they have a direct and personal line to G-d that others don’t have, there is a problem. So I am glad you realized you weren’t actually one-on-one with Jesus.
Different from you, I do not walk around talking to or hearing Our Friends on a constant basis. Nor do they give me advice on every aspect of my life. Nor do I ask for such.
I think you are right and wrong about Our Friends being “me.” I am quite sure they are not me, and that they are what they have so consistently stated themselves to be, energies of love, servants of the “Holy Spirit” (a term from multiple traditions.) I am also sure that who I am is important in the channeling process.
As was pointed out to me years ago, Our Friends could not come through with such love if my heart were not large enough and open enough to allow it. So there is an element of me, I know. I also seem to have a gift for surrender that allows me to completely let go and allow them to come in and share whatever and however needed; they have taught and given me this, yet it is also my choice –every time.
When I once expressed concern to Our Friends that as I grew I might become closer to them, more like them, more in alignment…and wondered whether that would mean others would not be able to tell the difference…their response was that the whole point of our work together was/is that I would grow in these ways…this kind of growing was something I had expressly asked for, and/but two Beings — not matter how alike, no matter how much they have in common — are still two Beings, like parts of a flame flickering together. I am still me. Our Friends are still Our Friends.
I think we have to agree to disagree on the question of spiritual traditions and their value in life. I believe it is valuable for us to recognize that there is much we don’t know, don’t need to know to live this life, that living with the mystery is a great part of the beauty to this life. Yet Creation is sooooo much bigger, vaster, more encompassing than we can even begin to imagine. We are, in truth, small within it. But there is a saying in Judaism: “I am but dust and ashes, and the Universe was created for me.” Both are true.
Yet, I am not the Creator nor the whole of Creation. To recognize my place right now is not to feel small, but to feel “in place,” to feel connected to all of Creation through the means that are built into this “art form” that is this earth and physical being and mind & soul.
Do we need help? As the saying goes “There are no atheists in foxholes.” We all pray in our way and time, all different, all good. To look out at the stars and know that there is something far vaster than I that is “intelligent” and omnipresent does not take a great leap. And I give no personal power away to admit and embrace it. Rather I connect, deeply, to all that is Life in the largest and greatest and deepest extent. And in that, I connect with myself.
Blessings to you,
Stephanie